I knew I was back in Singapore when I hopped into the cab. I greeted him in Chinese to throw him off and to leave him with the impression that I spoke some modicum of Mandarin. I then told him EXACTLY how to get to Raffles Deli from my flat (street by street, no jams!).
As soon as we got within eyeshot of Raffles he immediately has "amnASIA" and proceeds to head the other way. I jumped his shit so fast he didn't know what hit him. My Texas Cannonball was out of the barrell and rocketing towards the Great Wall of China! I barked the directions again and told him to listen to his customer! He was huffing and puffing at the traffic light once I got him back on track but fuck him. It's MY ride and I'm driving no matter WHO is at the wheel!
Singapore Cab Ride 101:
You never ever never ever HAVE to tip them. I only tip them when they do an outstanding job.
70% of cabbies in Singapore are Chinese so leveraging their language, no matter how non-Asian you will sound, is empowering. 20% are Arabic and most are very service oriented, moreso than Asians. The rest are usually Indian, and other than the body odor, fairly amicable.
It's important to note that I give every cabbie equal opportunity to comply with my uber-sense of direction. I have a degree in Geography and 99% of the time I'm a human compass. More often then not I've got a photographically recorded mental picture of the map in my head and there's just no arguing with me.
I do start out with standard greetings in either English or Chinese. I address the older fellows respectfully as 'Uncle'. Int turn, I expect a good cabbie to call me 'Boss' out of mutual respect.
The younger cabbies are more aggressive and will get you there faster. They want to get you there fast! They know if they make good time, throw in a little conversation (or shut the hell up), and show you that they're working then there is the high likelihood of a tip. I think older cabbies aren't used to a tip so they're not going to even try for it. Complacency doesn't reward the dinosaurs.
And if you let them, they will run you straight into a traffic jam! I'm not kidding, this erks me more than anything. They will just drive straight into a traffic jam and wait...no lane changing...no lets get my customer out of this...no lets duck down a side street and backtrack...they just do the "do-te-do-te-do' [channelling Goofy from Disney], ooops, there's a traffic jam, guess we'll just sit here and run up a tab" thing. That's when you have to step in immediately and take control!!
There endeth the lesson, but not the stories so stay tuned!
It's funny, if I ever show up to meet The Man From Snowy River and I don't have my customary 'Cab Story' ready for John then he usually asks checks to see what Pod People have stolen my carcass. He just expects me to have tangoed with them on the way and John knows that when it comes to cabbies...I LEAD! =)
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